To Garuda - 2



Chopping off our own heads

to fit into the bed we've made




Catching sight of the urge to turn away is a catch-22: we turn away just so that we don't catch sight. That turning away can be like a compulsive urge, or worse, it can take the form of a twitch. It takes something like commitment and rigour to attend at that level of concentration. But any rigorous participant will resist the urge to resist for the short moment it takes to agree, and in that moment to consier that we do this sort of thing: we can "chop off our heads" in order to fit into a situation we've designed for ourselves. This is just the sort of conceptually plausible plan our left brain spits out when we're really motivated. (Read: someone who's into it will hand in.)

Having admitted to that urge, we can attend to the verbiage left-brain will spool. The urge to protestation can come into play now, and so out comes spilling the rhetorical rationalization that was a byproduct when leftbrain coming up with "cutting of my head", or whatever tactic that refers to. (Leftbrain saves that rhetoric, and our encyclopaedia gets better. Some of us eventually attain "junkie rhetoric" status.)
Except in a purely detached state of equanimity or if we're reading this in bad faith (I mean inauthentically, without actually connecting and resonating to the anecdotes), we'll likely be moved to protest because, after all, we are motivated by our own need to justify our own behaviour ... we'll want to cast a protective net over this less pity-filled treatment. Also, left-brain may feel harshly pressed to advocate its validity. So let's attend to this before all, so we can enlist the whole of our brain.
Leftbrain does just what it does because that's what's its done and thats what it is. If we ever stretch the truth in order to get what we want or avoid what we don't, then it's likely that left brain can be thusly victimized. Affirming it in its true nature might cool things down a bit; leftbrain functions have their value and legitimacy that stands without reference to standards for affection.
Leftbrain does what it does because that's what it's meant to do, in service of our goals, fears, hopes, aspirations, and dreams. Now the exact style in which its product is cast, and the precise nature of what it produces, and the specifics which it makes use of in justifying it's findings ... those are products of personal history and previous self-justifications and/or self-delusions. A minimally humble acknowledge that we talk ourselves into things may be a sufficient starting point. "That's my story, and I'm sticking to it!" That this standard line crosses the footlights so easily and communicates so well, this speaks to how basically comfortable we are with the deeply wise irony the project of appreciating our complex lives requires.